Comments on: All morons hate it when you call them a moron

By: Not Michael Richards

Not Michael Richards — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:53:05 +0000

The bounce back confuses me. Maybe because I hadn’t checked it in a while the good people at hotmail put it to sleep or something. Anyway, I’ve just sent an email to your mail [at] bodaciousmelody thingie, so we can argue via email from now on.

By: Matt

Matt — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 07:13:08 +0000

Also, and against my better judgment, I should point out that the lack of comments on Kate’s blog post doesn’t support your point that nobody reads or cares about blogs. All it does suggest is that nobody takes the time to comment on them. It’s really more of an indictment of you than me.

Maybe you need to think about that. Then again, the last two comments on this post are now mine, so maybe I need to think about it too. This is time we could both be spending on our novels, right?

By: Matt

Matt — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 06:04:10 +0000

Okay, settle down. At the rate you’re going, this will soon be your blog. How will you look people in the eye then?

With apologies in advance, I won’t be taking the time to yell at Kate and Jason on your behalf. You’ve proven that you’d be more thorough and much better at it than I would, and clearly I’m a busy man. I’m not sure what you do with your time, but if it’s this, then the world is your oyster.

By the way, I did try to write to you, and I got a bounce-back. I don’t know what to tell you about that.

By: Not Michael Richards

Not Michael Richards — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 01:02:03 +0000

PS – If you talk to this Jason fellow, can you ask him if he’s familiar with mlb.com, and then let him know that Buffalo is definitely not part of the Upper Midwest of the United States? I figured you can do it for me, since no one in his “Comments” section has been so kind.

By: Not Michael Richards

Not Michael Richards — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:47:53 +0000

Feel free to drop me a line anytime Matt. That is a real email address. And if there’s one thing I do enjoy, it’s arguing. I like writing too, but arguing and writing are pretty much the same thing to a guy like me, because as Souvankham Thammavongsa once said, “writing is an argument against silence”.
I’m not angry about the EYE thing. You’ll notice that under the article sits a prompt in lonely blue font: “Be the first to comment”. This supports my original point that nobody actually reads or cares about blogs because they are boring and useless. Also, I don’t know about you, but if a “friend” of mine ever called something I wrote “Funneeee!”, I’d hit her in the face with a thesaurus. Further strengthening my original point is the fact that this Kate Carraway bimbo (people actually still say/write “Real talk”?) is your friend, and you wouldn’t have gotten a mention on her almost-incoherent blog post (with zero comments and, somehow defying simple mathematics, probably even fewer readers) you seem to be so proud of.
I’ve read on here that you help run a reading series. That’s fantastic. You’re obviously a guy who likes books and likes to write. So why not write a novel? Or a short story? Or anything but five paragraph ruminations on what to call the female you presumably love and are hopefully having sex with?
You’ve mentioned a few times now that I shouldn’t read blogs if they make me so angry. You’re right. But like I said, I stumbled upon your website and, being a compulsive reader, immediately started reading. The comment section did not require some tedious sign-up process, so I posted my opinion (perhaps the first honest opinion you’ve ever received on this wasteland you call home), and now here we are. If you are going to keep using the “just don’t read it” argument, make log-ins required so I “just don’t write it”.
I really should just take mattblair.ca off my internet history so I don’t keep coming back here, but I’m not a very tech savvy guy. I do know how to check my email though, so if you want to “drop me a line”, I repeat, feel free. Also, since you’re a capable writer, why don’t you see if EYE Weekly is hiring writers who don’t scribble at a fourth-grade level?

By: Matt

Matt — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:46:28 +0000

After today’s update, I think you might be right. I do have the fellow’s email address, assuming it’s real. Maybe I should drop him a line.

By: jason

jason — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:34:36 +0000

Oh, this ain’t over.

By: Matt

Matt — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:23:22 +0000

Well, it’s good to know you’re not serious. We didn’t have any idea what you were so mad about! If vanity blogs are the issue, then I’m totally on board. I assure you, that’s not what I’m trying to do here. I don’t go out of my way to promote it, and frankly, I’m surprised whenever I find out that someone other than a friend or a family member has actually heard of it.

I’m also a bit surprised whenever a person takes offense at some random guy voicing his opinion – whether in conversation, in the news, or on a bullshit blog. I’m not trying to make a name for myself with this site – despite what the address might tell you – and I didn’t really write this post with anybody other than a few friends in mind.

I’m glad you dropped by, and I appreciate the kind words about the strip. But if you don’t like blogs like this one, my advice is to just stop reading them. I wouldn’t take it personally. Other people here have already pointed out the irony of a person going after a blogger for posting their opinions online by posting angry comments on the blog in question, and I think that’s food for thought.

You’re right about one thing, though: this website is totally gaudy. I’m working on a new layout as we speak. I’ve also got a lot of work to do on the Righteous Melody site, so feel free to stick around for that.

Thanks for dropping by, at any rate. This is the most exciting thing that’s happened on my blog in weeks, and I’m glad it ended well.

By: Not Michael Richards

Not Michael Richards — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:55:22 +0000

Well at least you got the recluse part right. I’m not sure Salinger would have liked your protracted “joke”, but he definitely would have realized that I’m, in fact, just joking around. I don’t hate you, although I do find most blogs to be completely pointless and pretentious because they usually just rehash celebrity news stories or detail their author’s tedious lives with excruciating attention to detail. You read a book? OMG you should write a post about it! People have been reading books for centuries without feeling the need to advertise their literacy on a deserted website.
On how I got here: I accidentaly stumbled onto this page while looking for a friend who shares a name with you but has the good sense to assume that his opinions, while valid, don’t need a gaudy website to carry some weight.
On the other hand, let me mention here that I read a bunch of your comic strips and truly enjoyed them. I actually like everything about that strip, including the title. You’re much better at writing jokes and social commentary than a bullshit blog. Recognize your talent and run with it. Don’t spread yourself too thin. Who the hell wants to be known as a cartoonist/blogger? The former is a gift to society, the latter is meaningless and irritating.

By: Matt

Matt — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:16:27 +0000

Heh… I get an email whenever someone comments on the blog. I waited a little while to respond to this one, though, just to make myself look like a busy man.

I did mention elsewhere that “I wrote a really hacky rant that ruined some stranger’s day,” and I guess that brought a few people here. Though I didn’t tell anybody what to post; I guess they were just as bewildered as I am. That’s the reason why this post has more replies than the others.

My favourite theory so far is that you actually are J. D. Salinger. If anyone’s got a little extra time on his hands, it’s a reclusive author. On the other hand, he would have gotten the joke.