Boyfriend/girlfriend really does seem ridiculous, if the person in question can be called neither a “boy” nor a “girl.” I’ve jokingly used the term “gender-based friend” and, while it’s a mouthful, it’s meant as a joke and not a solution to this lexicographical conundrum.

“Partner” has always implied, to me, “same-sex partner.” A lot of politically-correct people I know use it, and it’s pretty neutral, so… I guess that works.

Consider, though: if you’re in a country/culture where arranged marriages are the norm, you go from zero-to-spouse in no time flat, and this whole debate just wouldn’t exist.

Carey: Thank you! Now that you mention it, “You’re engaged?” is a question you can read a lot into. There have definitely been times when I’ve felt like people were suggesting that I seemed a lot more likely to eat a bowl of Count Chocula for dinner than to get married.

Hubby will be fine. And I think I’ll mostly stick with boyfriend until then. Although, yeah, it does sound a tad childish.

And with Graham, I just lie and call him my stepdad, because ‘my mum’s boyfriend’ is awful, and ‘common-law stepdad’ is a hell of a mouthful, more information than people need, and kind of implies we’re not really close.

Bah. Relationship semantics suck.

Congratulations, BTW!!!