“It’s too bad he won’t live up to his campaign promises! But then again, who does?”

Local journalist Jonathan Goldsbie, whose work I quite enjoy, has made a habit of live tweeting municipal debates and press conferences. Following him is a great way to get an informed sense of what’s happening at these events, with the odd dash of humour thrown in for good measure.

Yesterday, at an event called the Toronto Youth Priority Symposium, Goldsbie quoted mayoral candidate Rob Ford as saying that he has “seen things at City Hall that would not benefit the youth.” He went on to joke that Ford’s use of the term “the youth” also doesn’t benefit them, which I think is a little too critical. Frankly, as long as Ford’s not physically assaulting the youth, I figure that’s enough.

Sorry, I meant to say “allegedly physically assaulting the youth.” I just caught the disclaimer at the top of that Star story, noting that it’s currently “subject to legal complaint by Rob Ford,” and I don’t want to have to put one of those up on my blog. So for the record, I’m definitely not saying that Rob Ford’s been hitting kids.

Although if he had, it certainly wouldn’t have benefited them. And if it had happened at City Hall, then yes, I’d have to agree with his argument at the symposium.

In truth, I don’t know what Ford was actually getting at when he made that statement. I wasn’t at the symposium, and Goldsbie didn’t elaborate. But based on what I know about Rob Ford – his flair for the dramatic, his apparently limited grasp of political reality – I like to think his argument went something like this:

“I have seen things at City Hall that would not benefit the youth. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I’ve watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain. And I don’t think the taxpayers should have to foot the bill for that.”

I would have loved to been at that symposium. That moment would have been classic. I would have been the one whose slow, mounting clap ushered in a wave of raucous applause – and not just because the only appropriate way for Ford to follow a soliloquy like that would be to withdraw from the campaign.

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