Digital footprints

So I said to the Lord, ”You promised me that if I followed you, you would surf with me always. But I’ve noticed that during my most trying periods online, there was only one set of digital footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, weren’t you there for me?”

The Lord replied, ”Those weren’t the times when you needed me most. Those were the times when you’d switched your private browsing mode on.”

“Oh,” I said. “And you, uh… So you were next to me the whole time?”

“Yes, I was,” the Lord replied. “That’s what I do.”

“Right,” I said. “Well, then I guess you basically, uh…”

“I saw everything,” the Lord confirmed.

“Okay,” I said. “So, um… If you were in my position, how would you start apologizing for this?”

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