mattblair.ca » Stuff

That’s lame (for now)

Matt — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:18:17 +0000

My wife and I know there’s going to come a time when our daughter, who’s due any day now, won’t want to have anything to do with us. This morning, in fact, we were cracking jokes about the heartbreaking day when she’ll flip out because we gave her a hug in front of her friends.

“Oh my God, Dad!” I could already picture her saying. “You are so whatever word kids use instead of ‘lame’ in 2025!”

“They’ll probably still say ‘lame,’” my wife interjected. “It’s pretty classic.”

“No,” I replied, “I’ll bet they’ll have moved on from ‘lame’ by then. It’s too insensitive and too politically incorrect.”

In fact, run a quick Google search for “politically correct lame,” and you’ll find that plenty of people are already calling on society to drop the word and treat the disabled with respect. You’ll also find a bunch of people arguing that political correctness itself is lame, but I guess that’s no surprise. If that sort of thing gets you down, don’t Google “politically correct retarded.”

Either way, I’m pretty sure I was right. The clock’s ticking on “lame,” and that’s probably no bad thing. Get it out of your system now, while you still can. Times change, kids grow up fast, and pretty soon you’ll end up saying “lame” in front of your daughter and she’ll glare at you like you actually said “The Holocaust never happened.”

Twittering

Matt — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 10:22:14 +0000

I’m usually not the first person to jump on a new social networking phenomenon, because I fear things I don’t understand and I figure I can probably do without another Internet-based time waster in my life. That’s basically why it took me so long to join Twitter. But I did last night, and you can now find me @mjblair, as the kids say.

I’m still learning the ropes and figuring out how the damned thing works, so the updates won’t be frequent. Given the choice between beefing up my Twitter profile and getting this website up to code, I think I’ll have to spend my time on the website. I haven’t posted much lately, I haven’t gotten the old posts up and running again, and at the moment, I’m still using the default TextPattern layout. But I’m working on it, and I’m hoping it won’t take long.

Good news for nerds

Matt — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 08:58:16 +0000

The BBC has announced that it will air a two-part Red Dwarf reunion special during the Easter weekend. The special, which will be the first new episode since the show went off the air in 1999, will see the crew return to Earth at long last.

That ought to be a hell of a thing, right? I doubt it will air in Canada, but it’s sure to be available online, one way or another, after its broadcast in the UK. If you’re a weird British sci-fi nerd, mark your calendar.

Texting with Paul Gagnon

Matt — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 01:48:04 +0000

Paul: What’s cover there?

Me: Free. Drinks are pricey. Just stopped in to write a few things down.

Paul: Always with the notepad you

Me: I am actually getting yelled at slash flirted with over my notepad now. Time to become unattractive!

Paul: Wow ladies love the mystery reporter?

Me: I told her I live with my parents. She’s gone now.

By the way, when I told my girlfriend this story, she asked why I’d told that other girl that I lived with my parents instead of my girlfriend. The reason, in case anyone else out there is wondering, is because aggressive women at bars tend to approach a girlfriend who’s not there as a challenge, while they approach parents whose basement you live in as a sign that you’re a nerd. There, now you know.

That’s it for the beard

Matt — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 23:52:23 +0000

Sure, it was fun while it lasted. But the parts of my face that had grown in were getting shaggy, and the parts that hadn’t grown in were probably never going to come around. So tonight I shaved the damned thing off, and now I’m back to my usual face.

Actually, first I shaved the right side of my face, and then I ran to show my girlfriend what I’d look like with half a beard. If you’ve ever wondered how long you can get away with repeatedly turning to the right and shouting “Beard”, and then turning to the left and shouting “No beard”, the answer is about eight seconds.