I have Xbox achievement points that I didn’t earn and don’t deserve

Call me old fashioned, but when it comes to the world of Xbox Live, I feel like a man’s Gamerscore should be a true reflection of the good he’s achieved in this world. If you’re running around with more points than you deserve, then you may as well be the Killers in a world that’s already come to know and enjoy the brilliance of New Order.

That’s why I can no longer keep my secret shame to myself. Let me be the first to admit, woefully but rightly, that I have two hundred Gamerscore points that I didn’t earn.

I have ten points that my brother earned by finishing an early Red Dead Redemption mission while signed into my profile. I have thirty points for two Rock Band 2 achievements that somebody, possibly my girlfriend and her family, fulfilled while I wasn’t even around. And I’ve got a whopping hundred and sixty points for five Fable II achievements, most if not all of which were earned simply as a result of me being in the room while my girlfriend played it for hours on end.

“What the hell is the matter with this stupid froofy game, anyway?” I bellowed at the top of my lungs in the middle of a two-player combat mission that I only agreed to play because it seemed like the right thing for a decent boyfriend to do for the woman who’d bought him the damned Xbox as a birthday gift in the first place. “For God’s sake, where are the prostitutes?”

As far as I’m concerned, the only choice I’ve got is to sit down and achieve all those tasks myself. Then, and only then, can I call myself a worthy member of some community based around wasting time playing a bunch of video games. I’ll understand if you don’t want to visit my blog or look me in the eye until I’ve done so.

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