The most useless piece of advice you’re likely to get today

This morning on the subway, our frustrated conductor got on the PA and reminded the rush hour crowd to “use all available doors when exiting the train.”

Whenever this happens, the reaction is the same: a handful of people in the car cast confused glances at each other, as if to say “What am I supposed to do differently?”

I’m honestly not even sure what the TTC is trying to achieve with that announcement. Each individual person on the train is bound to exit through the nearest door, right? And if the train is packed, then that means all available doors are going to be used, doesn’t it?

So… I mean, what, are we doing it wrong somehow? I’m all for doing whatever I can to make our collective commute easier, but I’ve honestly got no idea how I’m supposed to act on that directive.

I can’t leave through more than one door, TTC! I’m only one man! Tell me what you want me to do, here!

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