If it reads speeds, it leads

“T.O. is leader in speeder readers” read the headline on the cover of yesterday’s edition of Metro. As the story in question reveals, we have more speed traps than any other city in the province.

Now, somebody clearly worked very hard on that headline, and I don’t want to give them a hard time about it. But the problem with sacrificing clarity for a bunch of cute rhymes, as plenty of newspapers often do, is that you’re bound to leave your readers wondering what it is you’re actually talking about.

Sure, in this case, it’s a story about speed traps. But that headline could just as easily refer to… I don’t know, speed readers. People who read fast. Maybe Toronto’s got the most of them, or the fastest of them. It’s impossible to tell from such a vague headline!

Hell, do you want to know the first thing that came to mind when I caught the cover of yesterday’s edition? “Too many amphetamines at the library.”

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