The diaper is half full

The first few days of parenting, like any major challenge, are all about your attitude. A pessimist, for example, would have looked at my baby this afternoon and said “Damn it, that diaper was literally ten seconds old!” Being an optimist, however, I chose to say “Hooray! We got you diapered just in time!”

If you truly want to enjoy every moment, you’ve really got to commit yourself to the bright side. The diaper thing is just one example; here are just some of the other affirmations I’ve found myself saying in the wee hours:

  • “Wow, that kid’s got some set of lungs!”
  • “My life hasn’t actually changed that much, in the sense that I stayed up late all the time before we had a kid!”
  • “I’ve just invented a new drink by pouring black coffee into my wife’s tea!”
  • “My kid is so gorgeous and entertaining that I’ve barely noticed everything and everyone else in my life gradually slipping away!”
  • “Stealing a car, getting on the highway, and driving until I run out of gas might seem like a good idea now, but I’ll bet there’s a downside I’m not seeing because I haven’t slept in days!”

I’m open to suggestions, and I’m sure all you parents out there have got your favourites. Feel free to share in the comments; I’ll be sure to read them the next time the cutest kid in the world gives me a few damned minutes to myself.

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3 Responses to “The diaper is half full”

  1. Karen Milton says:

    I would add “it turns out food tastes just as good cold”, “nobody leaves the house anymore anyway” and “I actually function better on two hours’ sleep” to that list. I have more, but I’m too tired to remember them right now.

  2. adam reed says:

    For me it was. “I used to just life my life, now I enjoy every minute of it.”

  3. Jason says:

    Congrats again to you and Kate, and the whole family. I gotta say, hearing first-hand accounts of the whole parenting thing is, at the outset, somewhat terrifying to me; upon further inspection, though, it becomes a matter of people who I already knew beforehand who were probably logical, reasonable people, acting logically and reasonably through a period of huge change in their lives. Sorta makes it a little less scary.

    Fortunately (hopefully?), though, that sort of change is quite a ways off for me yet.

    Keep up the good work, kids!