Derailed and deflated

I’ve been doing a pretty fine job so far of making the most of June, like I recently pledged to do. Looking back on the past few days, I’d say I’m off to a pretty great start. But there might be a lot to say for backing off from all that momentum once in a while.

I tend to go into the weekend with a big list of things I want to try and accomplish. I rarely get all the way through it, but I’m fine with that. It keeps me busy, which is better than the alternative. I hate the thought of spending an entire day doing nothing, and whether that’s a sign of a good work ethic or some kind of weird disorder, it keeps me moving all the same.

This hasn’t really been the best of weekends, and frankly, it’s because I’ve been letting the little things get to me. Dinner last night was a bust, for example, because the blender crapped out and we wound up having to clean a bunch of wasted food off the floor and walls of the kitchen. Meanwhile, a few of my books are ruined because I left them standing near an open window during the rain last night.

Now, these are minor inconveniences, and nothing to get worked up about. But when you’ve been working hard, and you’ve got a whole lot that you want to get done, the little things that throw you off the path can have a way of making it feel like there’s always more to worry about – or worse yet, that you’re not capable enough to deal with any of it without making a bunch of mistakes.

And to be fair, when that happens, it’s probably just a sign that you’re working too hard, or putting too much pressure on yourself. Hell, it might be a sign of both. Books get wrecked, blenders crap out, and really, what’s the big deal?

There’s still an awful lot to get done today, and not a lot of time in which to do it. I’d also like to go out and have some fun tonight – did I mention that Kate and I got engaged a year ago today? – so the sensible thing to do would be to man up and put all the negative bullshit out of mind.

After all, there’s nothing on my plate today that can’t wait until tomorrow, assuming I don’t mind tomorrow sucking.

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