Getting sick is great if it’s for the right reasons

I don’t want to get into the gross, disgusting details of the sickness that kept me in bed yesterday, but it meant I had to miss a show I’d been looking forward to seeing on Sunday night. I was halfway there, to tell you the truth, when I realized it was time to turn back and call it a night. My wife ended up giving my ticket to someone who couldn’t get in, so at least something good came out of it.

Now, I’m no doctor, but I figure I got sick in one of two ways. Chances are, I picked up a stomach bug from my daughter, who we had to drag to the walk-in clinic on Friday night because she was throwing up and running a temperature. I spent that night in her room, because somebody had to watch over her, and I didn’t want my wife or my visiting mother-in-law to run a greater risk of catching anything.

That’s probably the reason why I got sick. Either that, or I got food poisoning after eating a sandwich with some bad mayonnaise on it.

I prefer to believe my daughter’s stomach bug was the culprit. If it was, then the reason I missed a show I wanted to see – not to mention all of Monday – is because I’m a terrific father and a wonderful guy. If food poisoning was the culprit, then I missed the show because I’m too stupid to be trusted with expiration dates.

So let’s all agree it was the stomach bug, okay? I mean, I’m still going to check the date on that bottle of mayonnaise. Vanity is one thing, but disregard for my family’s health is another. But if anyone asks, it was the stomach bug.

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