According to Google Analytics, somebody out there recently found this site by running a search for the phrase “size of matt blair.” Since you asked, anonymous visitor, I’m six feet tall and I weigh a hundred and fifty pounds. Hope that helps!

I’ll be honest with you. I’ve spent the past day or two trying to pretend that a baby who’s been plunked down inside a hollow watermelon that’s been gently placed in the seat of a comfortable chair – and who’s been left to gnaw on the walls of his own little watermelon cage like it’s […]

I totally praised my mother and my girlfriend alike in my most recent post – and if you’re willing to be patient, I’ll praise them both again, along with my sister. But in the meantime, just so you don’t think I’m trying to come off as the world’s most enlightened man, I’ll tell you a […]

Today on my lunch break, I overheard a couple of sad, middle-aged losers use the good name of “Jim J. Bullock,” an HIV-positive gay actor who enjoyed a good deal of success in the eighties, as a euphemism for gay men in general. “Look at that guy,” one of them muttered. “That guy’s a real […]

“Commissioner…” “Yes, Mickey?” “How do you call your Batman?” “‘Come here, Batman!’” “And if he doesn’t answer?” “‘Oh, Batman…’” “And if he still doesn’t answer?” “Well, what I do then is I’ve got this bat signal.”